Update

Blog

Bonjour,

I realise it’s been a while since I’ve posted on here, and I will explain why, because I feel that it’s important for people to know.

As you know, I have suffered with anxiety my whole life, but only being recently formally diagnosed (in May 2017). I have battled with panic attacks throughout the course of my life and 2017 has defiantly been the worst, most testing, year yet.

Over the Christmas period, I have been having at least 3 or 4 panic attacks every day in the space of about two weeks. If you’ve ever endured a panic attack or anxiety episode, you will know that it is absolutely exhausting and draining. I haven’t felt like eating, and as a result I have lost nearly a stone in weight. I only weigh just over 6 stone anyway on a normal day so to lose this much weight is a concern. I have also been sleeping for most of the Christmas period, which makes me worry that I am ruining everyone else’s fun and ruining it for my family, which sparks off another anxiety attack. My anxiety also makes me feel sick to my stomach with nausea, like I’m going to throw up at any moment. I am sick of feeling sick. I’m fed up of not feeling like my normal self and being able to enjoy my favourite time of the year, as, once again, I have ruined it for myself and my family.

Yesterday, I decided to nip this feeling in the bud and try and get help before it spirals out of control. I phoned my local GP and was asked what the matter was by the receptionist. I told her that my usual doctor and I had discussed my anxiety and that it was beginning to get worse again. The receptionist then said ‘oh, so it isn’t an emergency then?’ And made me a phone appointment for three weeks time with a doctor I had ever met before. I was on the brink of tears so I accepted the appointment and hung up before sobbing and thinking that nobody in the world cared.

Desperate, I searched for any help online. The only thing I could find was a self-referral form for group sessions for people with anxiety. ‘Group sessions for people with anxiety’. Surely that’s a huge oxymoron in itself?

So basically, I am being out-right honest here. I am really struggling right now, and when people ask me ‘how are you coping’, just know that I am not coping. I don’t know how to deal with this and it’s scary. And now learning that there is absolutely zero help out there makes me feel even more alone. I just hope my own mind can sort itself out, because it seems nothing else will.

Sorry for the downer.

Emily

Xoxo

September 2017- Life Update. 

lifestyle

Happy Sunday!

I realised today that it’s been a while since I did a lil but of an update for you. So what’s going on in my life?

  • I’m going back to work tomorrow!!!! After six weeks off (I work in a school) it’s my last day of the summer holiday (*cries*)!! However, last term I got promoted! I will be stepping up into my new role as a ‘Medical’ Teaching Assistant… I’m a little nervous but I did start to work a little bit in this role in the last few weeks of July so it’s not too daunting. 
  • Career change?? Already? So, I just said that I’m about to be starting a new job, but I’m already into the next thing! Thing is, I have a creative writing degree and it would be my DREAM to write for a living. So, I’m trying to make that happen. I’ve joined People Per Hour and I’m going to try and get my name out there as a freelancer and, the goal is to, work from home one day!
  • Anxiety! I have only had two panic attacks since beginning on holiday, and that’s super good for me! However, I am starting to worry that going back to work will trigger them again. Obviously being off from work has been good for me. Maybe I should never go back again? Okay…
  • My sister is getting married next year, and I’m going to be Maid of Honour! Exciting!
  • I’m so glad I’ve resurrected my blog. I’m honestly loving writing on here and hope you all enjoy it too!
  • I’m going to be 23 in three weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Scary. 

So life’s not been super exciting, but I’m still feeling a lil apprehensive about all the things going on, as usual! Thought I’d update you anyhow!

Hope you’re all having a wonderful Septmeber (it’s almost winter, wooooo!!). Whatever you are doing, whether you’re going back to, or even starting, school, college, uni. Whether you’re starting a new job, glad to be rid of the kids after the hols, or whether you’ve been at work the whole time- have a great nearly-autumn! 

Love!

Emily 

Xoxox

Q&A: Get to Know Me Tag…

Blog, Q&A

Bonjour!

Thank you so much for all of your Q&A questions! I absolutely love doing these. Let’s get straight into it, shall we?


What are your favourite high street shops?

As you can see from most of my hauls and OOTDs, I absolutely love Primark and, genuinely, don’t know what I ever did before it (does anyone?!). Honestly, if I’m looking for anything I will always check Primark first. I do also love New Look and H&M and I’m also a sucker for Zara if I’m looking at spending a lil bit more…


Do you remember your first make-up item?

Yes! I went into Tammy Girl (REMEMBER THAT?!) one day and they were selling a roll-on clear lip-gloss with floating silver heart confetti in it. I remember absolutely plastering it on and I can still remember the smell… amazing.


Who would you say is your number 1 fashion inspiration?

I try, and fail, to follow more of an ‘indie/alternative’ fashion style, so I love people like Alexa Chung and Suki Waterhouse (I WISH, RIGHT!?). But honestly, I love Zoe Sugg’s (Zoella’s) style and tend to buy a lot of what she wears. Not only do I love her style, but I kind of know what she wears will suit me too as we have a similar body shape. Not to mention that she shops on the high street, so more often than not you can buy her EXACT outfit- PERF!


Celebrity crush?

Harry Styles. Is that even a question?

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What is the one thing your readers would be surprised to hear?

I’m only 22 but have worked for nearly 5 years as a Teaching Assistant in a secondary school, and I love it! I’m an aspiring Student Welfare Officer as I’d love to help teens get through the tough school years…


Where is your favourite place to be?

I have two… My happy place is a place called Fingle Bridge, which is a National Trust forest on Dartmoor. I just adore it. It’s so beautiful and inspires me when writing so much. And the second is home, in my bed, obvs.


Do you have any pets?

I have a LOVELY lil black cat called Roxy. We got her when I was 12 and although she’s a dribbly old lady, I love her with all my mushy (crazy cat lady) heart.

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What is your favourite song at the moment?

I’m a massive music fan and love everything from 1D to Joy Division. My all time fave band is The Killers and they’ve just released a new song called ‘Run for Cover‘, so obvs gotta say that 😉FullSizeRender (12)


Eyeliner in pencil, gel or liquid?

I mean, who uses gel??? I use liquid for the to