So, you may or may not already know this about me but, I suffer from anxiety disorder and panic attacks. Being diagnosed with anxiety is quite a recent thing for me, as I only really realised it and started to have more severe attacks in May of this year. So this blog is basically me coming to terms with the changes and noticing the triggers that spark off my anxiety and irrational and low feelings/thoughts.
I work in a secondary school as a Teaching Assistant and, although I love it most of the time, I’m having a really tough time lately. After having the summer holidays off, in which I had zero panick attacks and barely any anxiety, I have returned to work feeling the most anxiety I’ve ever felt.
So on Saturday evening, I had the biggest and worst panic attack ever. I was crying and shaking and, in all honesty, haven’t been the same since. I’ve been really quiet and just unable to find joy in anything I do. I also managed to have a bit of a melt down at work on Monday, luckily not in front of anyone. My mum knows and is really helpful, but she’s now starting to really worry about me. Mum phoned the doctors yesterday to get me an appointment. She thinks I need something other than propranolol, as now I’m beginning to feel very down and depressed. (Does propranolol work for anyone else? It does nothing for me…)
I know ‘depressed’ is a throw-away term that probably most of us use. But depression is a serious mental condition and is, unfortunately, linked to anxiety. I will see what the doctor says but I really hope I’m not heading down that road.
Anyway, Mr Anxiety is back and here to stay, it would seem. Which sucks because it’s my birthday on Saturday and he is not invited to the party 😦 😦 😦
On the bright side, this low patch has made me realise what wonderful people I have around me, who genuinely care about how I’m feeling and love me.
Really hope your week is going a lot better than mine!
Feel free to discuss anything you feel you need to in the comments….